Will travel cross-country for booty

Once again, Facebook has surprised me – only this time, it’s not in the “OMG-I-can’t-believe-he-detagged-me-from-that-photo!” sort of surprise that makes you want to hurl/yell profanities at your ex by way of his profile picture. 

Oh no.  This type of surprise is electric and makes you want to belt out an old Mariah Carey song while watching yourself dance in your bedroom mirror.

First, you will need some background on the situation:  In January of 2009, a mutual friend and I were chatting on FB.  She casually mentioned that her cousin (whom I’d met on Thanksgiving in 2004) was single.  He friended me.  We e-mailed and texted for about three weeks.  He lived in Florida, and we half-jokingly talked about him flying up to the Northeast to see me.  Then, he seemed to drop off the face of the Earth.  I started dating someone and so did he. End of story. 

Until this past weekend…

As I was resisting the urge to log onto Facebook, I finally couldn’t control myself any more and I signed in.  Right there in that damn news feed, that is perhaps more annoying than a Jennifer Lopez movie, was his profile picture.  It had been updated.  He looked gooooood.  I clicked on his profile to see the hotness up close.  Then, I went about my regular stalking.

And this is when he chatted me.  I obliged.  He told me how he now lives in L.A. and asked when I was coming to see him.  Here we go again…

Now, being that I really have no man prospects, I was flattered by his seemingly abrupt interest in me…again.  So naturally, I sent him a witty text that night after I had downed a few beers.  He responded.  Out of sheer intoxication, I replied and awaited a response that never came.

Until yesterday.  Naturally, I was at a Monday night happy hour and already three beers deep.  Read: I was not about being shy.  So, I after a few flirtatious texts, I popped the question: “So, how about I come visit Memorial Day weekend?”

He was being coy, asking if that was the earliest I could come.  No, it wasn’t, but I didn’t want to seem too desperate.  But I really was/am.  And I need to get laid.  By him.

The texting continued and nothing was really accomplished.  As my buzz wore off and turned into sleepiness, I kind of got the feeling that perhaps this “imaginary” cross-country booty call was just new material for his mid-day jerk-off sessions.

I finally told him to let me know what weekend works for him, to which he responded, “That’s a lot of pressure.”  I said it wasn’t and he ended the conversation with “We’ll figure something out.” 

Seriously, dude.  A hot, sexy bitch (myself) is willing to purchase airfare, fly across the country, and have sex with you (at least once…I mean, I don’t really know what kind of package I’m getting myself into, right?!) 

What is his problem????

Truth be told, if he lived closer, we would definitely date.  Or at least be BFF’s.  We have a very similar sense of humor and are both outgoing.  And, we like the finer things in life: booze. 

In any case, I’m okay with being his rebound/hot friend his guy pals are jealous of for a weekend/wifey.

Joking about that last one.  Kind of. 

I have needs and I needs to be in L.A. soaking up the sun, sights, and a hot distraction of a man.  Perhaps there will be new development in the next few days.  At least it’s something fun to think about when I’m home alone on my couch watching a Real Housewives marathon…

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~ by citygal on April 13, 2010.

3 Responses to “Will travel cross-country for booty”

  1. we’ll its a good thing i didn’t invite you to vegas at the paris memorial day weekend.

  2. What is it about (some) boys that when you ask “when”, they think you are looking for something sparkly for the ring finger. I think that an LA trip is in order for ya even if he’s actin’ all wiggy – there are lots of interesting boys out on the west coast 😉

  3. Oh man! If only he was closer… I am going to a passion party on Saturday and I live in Miami? Lol, you are more than welcome 😉

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