You can’t fix crazy

Whenever a guy says to me that his ex-girlfriends were “crazy,” a little red flag pops up in an imaginary caption bubble above my head.  I think, “It takes a crazy to date a crazy,” or something along those lines.  And if a man doesn’t appear crazy at first, could it be true?  Could all (or most) of his exes been total psychos??

Okay, so admittedly we all have a little bit of crazy in us.  Sometimes it’s in the cute things we do or say…and that’s okay.  But I’m talking about the men who, after we spend months, sometimes years of our time with them, turn out to be the most crazy of all.

To outsiders and even most friends, these men may appear normal.  But deep down, they have issues ranging from being unable to express intimate emotions to lacking proper decision-making skills.  This is where us women tend to get hurt.  A man whose biggest decision of the day is what type of beer he’s going to throw-back at happy hour is definitely going to have difficulty deciding who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. While he may be the most amazing friend you’ve ever had, his inability to figure out who HE is will eventually wreak havoc on any romantic relationship.

If I think back a few years, I would say that in my early to mid-twenties, I spent a great deal of time figuring out who I was and what I wanted.  Of course, I dated men during this time, but with each date and relationship, I was able to recognize more of myself and who I was, and most importantly, who I wanted to become.  Ultimately, this led me to realize what type of man I wanted to be with. 

As an independent, career-oriented woman, I can say that I am perhaps more level-headed than my dependent counterparts.  However, this does not make me super-human – I still get hurt by men.  And what hurts the most is not the fact that the relationships didn’t work out, but that they ended because the guy was confused.  Or unsure.  Or “fucked up.”

Perhaps these are excuses men use because they left their balls at work, an area of their life where they never seem to mess up, according to them.  But maybe, just maybe these men are cowards who just haven’t taken the time to self-reflect.  And ladies, it’s not our job to give men lessons about how to figure out your own shit – we already coddle them enough. 

So, what shall we do with all these men?  Absolutely nothing.  Because you can’t fix crazy. Seriously.

P.S. – If you haven’t had enough of me yet, check out my post about too many dicks over at HUSH.  I promise to figure out how to link this site to mine sometime soon!

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~ by citygal on March 24, 2010.

One Response to “You can’t fix crazy”

  1. “As an independent, career-oriented woman, I can say that I am perhaps more level-headed than my dependent counterparts. However, this does not make me super-human – I still get hurt by men. And what hurts the most is not the fact that the relationships didn’t work out, but that they ended because the guy was confused.”
    Thank you for being so refreshingly honest. This is completely true, and it drives me absolutely nuts! I know that this is true as much for girls as it is for guys – we all feel confused sometimes when it comes to our feelings for someone else, but what I can’t stand is when they make that confusion our fault. When I feel unsure about a guy I’m with, I deal with it myself, I don’t drag him in to be tormented with me. And when I figure it out, I let him know. I spare him the emotional agony. Apparently, guys haven’t figured out how to do this yet.

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