Stop making excuses

Men have difficulty making decisions.  Is this true, or just some excuse we give to guys who can’t make up their mind about us?

As I chatted with a friend yesterday and we tried to decipher some meaning in our chaotic love lives, she said something that made so much sense, for a minute I thought she was Gandhi.  While I complained of how I allowed my ex- boyfriend back into my life, only to be essentially dumped again because he was still “unsure” about what his feelings meant for me, my friend said, “An unsure equals “No.” 

The more I thought about it, the more it made perfect sense.  If a guy is into you, he won’t struggle with his feelings for you – he will want to be with you regardless of the fact that you still sleep with a stuffed animal or get up at the crack of dawn because you can’t miss your spin class.  If you have issues, like every relationship eventually does, then he will want to stay with you to try to fix those issues.  And boy, will he try his hardest. 

So when a man knows what the “issues” are and even recognizes what he needs to do in order for the relationship to mend, yet isn’t giving it the old college try, then why do us women make excuses for them? 

Any man who hurts you by breaking up with you or even just treating you like dog poop, doesn’t deserve the breath it takes for you to come up with some lame-ass excuse for his immature behavior.  As hard as it is, we have to accept the fact that although we might love him, it is he who doesn’t respect us enough to take our feelings into consideration.  Instead, he chooses to mess with them.  And that should never be okay.

In the end, I want to be with someone who wants me and is sure about it.  And all those men who are unsure can wade in the waters of uncertainty for the rest of their lonely life – no excuses.


~ by citygal on March 21, 2010.

2 Responses to “Stop making excuses”

  1. Well said!
    I am getting to that point with DD. His he still “unsure” of things. I think the only reason I put up with it is because I am unsure too.

    • I guess sometimes men are either too scared to commit, or afraid to say “You’re not the one.” If it’s the latter, then I wish they’d grow some balls and just say it already instead of stringing women along. Then again, men usually think the “grass is greener” elsewhere, whereas women are easier to compromise in order to make relationships work. In any case, an “unsure” vote is the elephant in the room and eventually, it’s bound to need noticing!

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